i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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