I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
