i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
