The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
