Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
