Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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