Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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