Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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