alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
