You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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