why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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