He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize