She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
