okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
