I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
