well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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