Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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