that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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