All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
