i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
