He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
