You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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