so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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