I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
