So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
