Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
