his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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