you guys were way drunker than both of me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
