You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
