i permit you to call me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
