It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have aggressive nipples.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
