just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
