Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
