I think my vagina is haunted
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
