I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
