i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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