I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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