Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
