Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
