I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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