It's Friday. Sex?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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