Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
