The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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