i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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