we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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