where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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