Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
