Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
