never play flip cup with pint glasses
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
