apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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