so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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