Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
