similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
