Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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