And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
