john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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