I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
