white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
