I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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