Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
