Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
