I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
